Lola

GW-07 - Lola's story as published on the website Butterfly kisses, now offline.

Lola's Story

by Lola

I guess I realized I was lesbian when I was about ten. I got a huge crush on one of my mum's friends and couldn't get enough of her for ages. Unfortunately she didn't feel the same and she was married with kids anyway. She always used to pick on me and one day she guessed how I felt and told my mum, I denied it but still got in a lot of trouble.

She was the first person to break my heart. As a child I was abused emotionally and physically by my parents especially my dad and then every ounce of faith I had left in men disappeared. It was then, when I was twelve that I decided I was definitely lesbian.

I always had to pretend that I wasn't 'cause it wasn't something that was accepted in my school and my parents would have flipped.

When I was thirteen, I fell in love big time with one of my friend's older sister who was 29 at the time. She was gorgeous and the most caring, sensitive person I have ever met. One thing led to another and we ended up in a serious relationship.

One day, we were in my bedroom at home messing about, having a pillow fight but ended up naked and ... I'll leave the rest to the imagination. But then my mum walked in and found us together. She was not well pleased and chucked me out.

Eleven years down the line and we are still together. We have proven everyone wrong and we also have one child that we had from a surrogate mother. We are still as happy with each other as we were all those years ago.

I think my mum catching me and throwing us out (we still ain't spoken to this day) has learnt me a valuable lesson about who to trust. My girlfriend saved my life from misery when I was still a little girl. And now I only really trust my girlfriend and our child. I could never be with a man after my dad...

I just wish people would see us for who we really are. As in the end we are normal and like everyone else but just have a different sexuality. If people are shallow enough to only see you for that then they're not worth knowing.

My advice is to first accept yourself for who you are and then don't hide it. We should be allowed to express our feelings just like everyone else and hiding them just causes more pain to people around us when we come out.