How to Vet a Therapist

You can anonymously email therapists to determine whether they are a good fit for your support needs. A list of suggested questions is provided below, along with information about the desired response for each. You should add additional questions in your email as needed.

Your current therapist may be able to identify your typing style. If you contact them, be careful about revealing sensitive information.

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1. What are your credentials and what is your educational background?

Why to ask

The response to this question will give you some basic information about the therapist's area of expertise and any specialized training they have.

Ideal response

Though not required, a background in sexual health may indicate that a therapist has less stigmatizing views about sexuality in general.

Considerations

A background in fields related to crime prevention might mean a therapist is less likely to prioritize patient wellbeing.

2. What, if any, experience do you have treating sexual health issues?

Why to ask

A therapist's professional experiences can heavily influence the biases they hold towards certain stigmatized groups.

Ideal response

Experience working with stigmatized aspects of sexuality, such as kink and fetish, may make a therapist more open-minded toward minor attractions.

A history of treating members of sexual minorities, such as gay and bisexual people, will give a therapist insight into the effects of sexuality-related stigma.

Considerations

Some researchers believe that therapists who have worked with forensic populations (sex offenders) may find it difficult to understand the benefits of therapy for non-offending MAPs.

3. Would you consider your treatment approach to be sex-positive?

Why to ask

The response to this question will provide insight into a therapist's willingness to question their own biases and prioritize treatment goals that benefit their clients.

Ideal response

A therapist who takes a sex-positive approach may be more likely to question their own preconceived notions and take a research-based approach to treating MAPs.

Considerations

Biases are often subconscious, so self-perceived sex-positivity is not a definitive indicator of support for MAPs.

4. Do you have any experience treating clients with sexual attractions to minors?

Why to ask

It can be useful to know about a therapist's prior experience working with MAPs, as this can affect many elements of their treatment approach.

Ideal response

Research indicates that therapists who have worked with MAPs in the past have a stronger sense of how to approach treatment and are less likely to violate client confidentiality.

Considerations

Just because a therapist has worked with MAPs in the past does not mean they did a good job supporting those clients.

Being the first MAP that a specific therapist treats may require a lot of explaining and answering questions on your part.

5. Are there personal experiences that may impact your ability to work with minor-attracted people?

Why to ask

Personal experiences can have a significant impact on biases and stigmatizing views, and may therefore affect a therapist's ability to effectively support MAPs.

Ideal response

An honest and thoughtful response is promising, regardless of the specific answer. A good therapist will be able and willing to identify and disclose potential sources of bias.

Considerations

A response that seems primarily intended to reassure may mean that a therapist is not willing to be forthcoming about their potential biases.

6. Under what conditions would you be required to report a client who is attracted to minors?

Why to ask

In many regions, mandatory reporting laws require therapists to report suspected cases of abuse to law enforcement. Some therapists file unnecessary reports against MAPs under these laws.

Ideal response

A good therapist will recognize the potential harm of a report and give you clear information on what they are required to report. They will only file a report when required to do so by law and will help you avoid topics that could lead to a report being filed.

Considerations

Even when no crime has been committed, a false report can significantly damage a MAP's personal life. Research mandatory reporting laws in your region and avoid therapists who report situations outside their scope.

7. What would you consider the goal of treatment for a client with sexual attractions to minors?

Why to ask

Therapy should focus on improving the wellbeing of the client. Unfortunately, some therapists disregard this and pursue harmful goals when working with MAPs.

Ideal response

The best response to this question is that the therapist and client will collaborate to determine what goals would be best for the client. However, due to the nature of these questions, the therapist may simply list goals they would expect to pursue with a MAP.

Experts recommend that therapy for MAPs focus on promoting self-acceptance and addressing the harmful effects of stigma.

Considerations

Goals such as reducing, eliminating, or otherwise changing attractions may mean a therapist plans to use conversion therapy, which is known to be harmful and ineffective.

An excessive focus on preventing sexual offenses can be counterproductive, so this should only be a goal of treatment if a client has realistic concerns about their risk of offending.

8. What methods would you use to treat a client with sexual attractions to minors?

Why to ask

Despite growing pushback against conversion therapy and other harmful "treatments," some therapists continue to use dangerous tactics to "treat" sexual minorities, especially MAPs.

Ideal response

Effective approaches include cognitive-behavioral therapy or acceptance and commitment therapy to address internalized stigma and promote self-acceptance.

In rare cases where a MAP is at risk of offending, additional treatment methods may include activities focused on building empathy for children and survivors of abuse.

Considerations

Be aware of the harmful impacts and ineffectiveness of conversion therapy and look out for related phrases like "aversion therapy" and "reconditioning".

9. If a client had sexual attractions to minors, who else would be given this information?

Why to ask

In some cases, information about a therapist's clients is shared with members of a treatment team, and insurance companies may be notified of diagnoses.

Ideal response

A good therapist will recognize the sensitive nature of minor attractions and provide detailed information about what information will be shared with whom while taking steps to limit sharing where possible.

Considerations

Just because a therapist trusts their colleagues doesn't mean you should. Minor attractions are incredibly controversial and it is impossible to predict anyone's reaction to the subject.

10. What conditions, if any, would a minor-attracted person need to abide by to remain your client?

Why to ask

Some therapists set expectations with certain clients to help them make progress. While this can be helpful in some cases, it can also be a source of stigma.

Ideal response

Therapists should be willing to help clients achieve their goals through treatment, not ultimatums. However, in some cases, a therapist may need to establish certain boundaries to protect themself legally.

Considerations

If a therapist brings up sexual offenses or CSAM viewing without having evidence those topics would be discussed, it may be a sign they incorrectly associate MAPs with abusive behavior.

This list was adapted from similar resources provided by B4U-ACT and The Primary Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse